November 10 Silliness

A young man was in love with two women and could not decide which of them to marry. He went to his pastor for counseling. The Pastor asked, "Please describe your two loves." "Well, one is a great poet." "And the other?" "The other makes delicious pancakes." "I see," the Pastor wisely observed. "So, you can't decide whether to marry for batter or for verse." A foursome of senior golfers hit the course with waning enthusiasm for the sport. "These hills are getting steeper as the years go by," one complained. "These fairways seem to be getting longer too," said one of the others. "The sand traps seem to be bigger than I remember them too," said the third senior. After hearing enough from his buddies, the oldest and the wisest of the four of them at 87 years old, piped up and said, "My friends, just be thankful we're still on this side of the grass!" I'm friends with a couple who have made some big changes in their lives. Tom lost 50 pounds and after many years of being a homemaker, Beth had taken a job in a restaurant. When she returned home after her first day at work, Beth gave Tom a big hug. She loved that he seemed to cling a bit longer than usual. "Did you really miss me that much today, dear?" Beth asked. "No," came the reply, "But you smell so much like pancakes that I just hate to let you go." I have a buddy who is a minister. He generally conducts an expanded altar call at the end of each sermon. He invites those who wish to join the church to come forward, as well as those in need of prayers or anyone who has other special requests. To the surprise and delight of the congregation his three-year-old daughter, without saying a word to anyone, popped out of the pew and made her way forward. She waited patiently while the others in line ahead of her made their special prayer requests. When her turn came, her Dad leaned down to ask what she needed. She whispered, "Can we go to McDonald's after church today?" The man was in no shape to drive, so he wisely left his car parked and walked home. As he was walking unsteadily along, he was stopped by a policeman. "What are you doing out here at 2 A.M.?" asked the officer. "I'm going to a lecture." The man said. "And who is going to give a lecture at this hour?" the cop asked. "My wife," said the man.